Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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