You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
