I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
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