My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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