You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Randomize
