Pregnant stripper...not hot.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize