hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
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