And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
