you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I can't put those talents on a resume
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Randomize
