I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Randomize
