She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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