Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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