I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
You smell like stripper and shame
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize