My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
