So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Randomize
