I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize
