Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
