I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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