i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
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