you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
