i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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