remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
he laminated a picture of his dick.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Randomize
