Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
