when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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