is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
