ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
