You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
