Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
