He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
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