grandma shit on top of the toilet
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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