she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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