She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Randomize