It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Randomize
