i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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