are you so shy because you have an std?
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
My vagina just recognized that song.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Let's get the cat blown out
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize