and you said cock pushups were impossible
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Randomize
