yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
