I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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