My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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