I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
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