i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
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