I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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