you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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