Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Randomize