so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
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