when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
Randomize
