i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Randomize
