flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
