Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
