Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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