yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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