i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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