You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I looked at my own cervix.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Randomize
