dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
