the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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