You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
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