I hope mine doesn't look like that
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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