ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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