Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
