You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
