we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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