thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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