Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
I fill condoms, not promises.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
