we're blogging at a bar
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
they call him Oral-B. enough said
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
