when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
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