Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
