Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
