I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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