Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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