I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
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