I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Randomize
